April 10th, 2008
1. I make my bed every day, though first I fold down the blankets and sheets to air it out. The window has to be open for this step too, no matter how cold it is. A good airing takes an hour.
2. My favourite food is shepherd’s pie, which I can’t eat any more because I’m a vegan, so my next favourite food is pretzels.
3. And next is Strubs Full Sours pickles.
4. I performed exposure therapy on myself and am no longer phobic about spiders. I still don’t like to touch them but it’s okay if one lives in my bedroom.
5. I collect octopus and squid toys and at christmas I put them all in my tree.
6. I was chronically constipated most of my life, and had to do a two year long process of adding fiber to get my system working right again. Now that I’m a vegan I don’t have any problems here.
7. I am a fanatic about being clean and have a shower every day, plus usually a bath also. If it’s cold I have two baths.
8. I wash my feet before getting into bed at night. Especially in the summer. This is because I hate to wear socks and prefer to be bare footed all the time, so my feet get quite grubby by the end of the day.
9. I used to be quite overweight, and now am only chubby. I lost my weight the hard way, diet and exercise. It took me about four years to lose 30 pounds. I haven’t been able to lose the final 5-10 yet.
10. I love cats but have developed an allergy to them. But I don’t care, I’d have one anyway. Except my husband is also allergic, and he wouldn’t have one. I don’t blame him – he doesn’t share my obsession.
11. I love books about zombies and will read any, no matter how crappy it is. Most of them are totally crappy.
12. I also love books set in a post-apocalyptic world. The Road (Cormac McCarthy) is the most depressing; Riddley Walker (Russell Hoban) is my favourite; A Canticle for Liebowitz (Walter Miller) is also quite good.
13. Other favourite books are Dune (only the first one by Frank Herbert) and Shogun (James Clavell). I read these about once a year.
14. I aspire to be an excellent home maker but haven’t made it. I do, however, wash my kitchen garbage can every time I change the bag.
15. I don’t like women vocalists and never listen to any. I have no conscious awareness of why.
16. I am a voracious reader and usually read two to three books a week. Some are good… some are crappy zombie novels. I don’t have much book pride or ego.
17. I am also very hard on books. I write in them, rip out the blank pages for grocery lists, read them in the tub, or while stirring a red sauce, and I dog ear the corners, etc. For this reason I never borrow books. No one should lend me a book. You would be sorry!
18. I like drinking but get such punishing, vomiting hangovers that I almost never do it. Two or three is usually my max, and even that’s asking for trouble. I wonder if this excessive reaction is a psychosomatic response related to my experience with an alcoholic parent.
19. My favourite drinks are caesars, and rye and ginger. I have tried to develop a taste for scotch, but failed.
20. I am a serious homebody and dislike travel. I have been to Australia twice, and Scotland once, and even though I had a good time I kind of wish I’d never gone.
21. At the end of our honeymoon, my husband and I became vegetarians. Almost two years later, we became vegans. I am still adjusting. The hardest thing to give up is baked goods. I may continue eating birthday cake and occasional pastries on special occasions even though I have guilt about it.
22. We strive to avoid coming across as preachy or judgmental about what we eat. We want people to be comfortable around us whatever they eat, though I have noticed lots of folks get defensive about eating meat. Seriously, I don’t care what you eat.
23. When I get lonely at home, I put on the TV to keep me company. This is better than real company, which precludes reading and other introverted activities.
24. I love to cook and hate that I live in an apartment designed by a lawyer who eats out every meal and decided to omit an oven from the kitchen design. What the fuck?
25. I swear too much. I use the F-bomb all the time. And I always say things like “holy shit” and “oh my god” which don’t go over well at work.
26. I have diverse musical tastes but in general prefer metal or a hard rock sound. I also love the blues. Sophisticated jazz makes me barf.
27. I pass severe mental judgment against people who use “literally” incorrectly. Literally does not mean figuratively.
28. Also, I judge people who say “quote” instead of “quotation.” Quote is a verb, quotation is a noun. I quote you; this is a quotation.
28b. Also, disinterested means impartial; uninterested means bored with or not interested by.
29. Since becoming a vegan I have a lot more gas. Thank god I’m already married and my husband thinks it’s hilarious. He says I’m the first woman he heard fart. I like to think this means we have a more real relationship than if we hid our flaws and bodily processes. He won’t let me pee with the door open, though.
30. I’m an overachiever at school, and never get anything except an A(or A+). This does not mean I’m smarter than other people, only more anal. School performance is related to effort in almost all cases. I put out effort so I can sleep at night.
31. Speaking of sleeping, I am a life long insomniac who is currently in a phase of reasonable sleep. But always I worry that the sleeplessness will come back. It always has.
32. I get really furious if I think too much about how hard it is to get sleeping pills. Doctors in my experience seem to think you’re some kind of addict if you ask for them. Obviously they don’t have to go through life like a zombie because of ongoing sleeplessness. The cure is so easy in my case, but do you think I can get it?
33. I suffer from terrible cold sores that require ongoing medication. I know where I got them and I hope that person suffers somehow as much as I do, because they neglected to tell me when they were symptomatic. It’s not a noble desire but it’s the truth.
34. I don’t know what my ethnic heritage it. British I guess. I have a lot of francophone relatives in Quebec but I don’t know if they’re actually French, of just a product of growing up in a francophone province.
35. I completely flip out when I misplace my keys, or get lost driving. I just can’t handle it. I am, therefore, very careful with where I put the keys. And about mapping my route in advance.
36. I love to drive. I used to drive a lot at night when I couldn’t sleep, but now I live too far from the highway to bother with that. I think I’m a much better than average driver too.
37. I miss butter on popcorn.
38. I am naturally lazy but wish I wanted, naturally, to exercise. The problem is, you can’t read while exercising. That makes exercise too boring to do.
39. The greatest thing in life is to snack while reading on the couch on a rainy day, wrapped in a blanket. And to crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentations of their women.
40. I like to paint miniatures, and am good at it, but my productivity is pitiful and I usually do only two or three pieces a year.
41. My favourite smells are freshly mown lawn, cut lumber, baking bread, warm laundry, and citrus. I also love how my husband’s beard smells. I huff it all the time. He’s not allowed to shave it, and in fact I have never seen him without a beard.
42. When we watch TV, I put my feet in my husband’s lap and he rubs my toes. I have the best husband ever!
43. I like crime dramas on TV and in movies. I sneer at reality TV but sometimes watch it to dissect the participants’ psychologies. I think American Idol is incredibly stupid and don’t understand why anyone watches it. But clearly I am in the minority here.
44. I have a very narrow band of temperature comfort. I dress in layers because I freak out if I get too hot and can’t cool down, or vice versa. But mostly I hate being hot. It makes me all claustrophic-feeling.
45. I obsess over songs and CD’s I like. When I lived in Halifax, I basically only listened to two CD’s for two whole years. I’m still not sick of them. (For the record, they are Robot Hive/Exodus by Clutch and Mit Gas by Tomahawk.)
46. I never play video games, but love to watch them. I especially like to watch RPG style games. I wish my husband was into them, but he’s into online poker. Which I have some nervousness about, even though he wins.
47. My favourite fruits are green grapes and watermelon. Once I ate so much watermelon that I produced spectacular diarrhea comprised only of undigested watermelon shreds. There was no poo left at all. Now I don’t eat so much at one sitting.
48. I want a baby but am terrified to be pregnant. I find pregnant women kind of gross. I never want to touch their stomachs. There is probably some dark psychological reason for this but I don’t know it yet.
49. I am irritated by loudmouths. They should shut up.
50. My first crush was Michael Rotowski, in grade one. We made plans to build our own ice skating rink.
51. I hate to talk on the phone but I do it sometimes anyway.
52. I think Oprah is a self-absorbed fathead, and ever since she promoted The Secret I lost all respect for her. What a bunch of crap.
53. My husband is the smartest man I know. He remembers everything he reads, which makes me jealous, but also proud. He is not at all an egotist, which I love, though he is very frank and has no fear of confrontation, which sometimes irritates people.
54. I am socially awkward and have a hard time making friends. This used to bother me a lot but not so much any more. I’m getting better.
55. I was a geek in high school and got picked on a lot. Adolescents are a bunch of savages.
56. Now I’m still a geek but pass for normal. I think I look pretty WASPy. You’d never know I’m sitting home eating litres of pickles and reading about zombies.
57. I cannot stand radio deejays. Oh my god, can you get any more vapid? The idiocy actually enrages me, especially in the morning. So I never listen to the radio.
58. I have endless patience for discussing people’s personal lives. I’m very curious about them and find them fascinating. I’m also very good at keeping secrets, which makes me a good confidante I think.
59. I think family is very important and I always prioritize them.
60. Christmas is my favourite time of year. My husband and I both have December birthdays too, so it’s extra festive. We have developed a savage dance of Christmas, which just goes to show he’s a geek too.
61. I can’t read and listen to music at the same time. I actually can’t do anything while I read except eat or sit in the tub because otherwise I can’t focus, no matter how easy the book is. I guess I can’t multitask.
62. I have a little brother who rocks. He’s a non-savage teenager.
63. My undergrad degree is in history with a specialization in Middle Eastern history. I loved it but do nothing with it, and now most of it is forgotten. Alas.
64. I think it’s incredibly important to be educated. It doesn’t matter what in. It all teaches you how to think. You can of course learn to think without education, but most people don’t. So education is a good default setting.
65. I never cheated in school, even though I had lots of chances.
66. I love those shows about the fundamentalist families with a million kids. I don’t want to be a fundie but I like the family orientation. It looks like fun.
67. I’m an atheist. This doesn’t mean I have no morals.
68. As with veganism, I don’t care what religion other people practice. Telling you what to believe isn’t my job. I judge people on their actions, not their faiths. I wish I got the same respect in return.
69. Sixty-nine!
70. I love to mow the lawn. When I moved out of my dad’s house, I would sometimes go home just to mow the lawn. For fun.
71. I was a grave digger for a year. My main job was mowing the lawn on a big tractor mower. I loved it, except when it rained or was cold, and then it sucked. The worst part of the job was burying children. I never got used to that.
72. I once dated a Nazi stalker. Really!
73. I love corn on the cob with lots of butter and salt.
74. I can’t stand it when parents mistreat their kids in public, and always glare really hard at them when they do.
75. I come from a long line of leftists. But I struggle with postmodernism.
76. I don’t like Shakespeare.
78. I love tales of hardship in nature, especially Antarctic exploration.
79. I like a big nose on a man. And short hair.
80. I dislike being outside and avoid it as much as possible.
81. I do, however, like to ride my bike. Oh the conflict!
82. I’m addicted to moisturizers and use many different types every day. I can’t stand that dry skin feeling! Ack!
83. I have a tiny bladder. I pee a lot. But I also drink constantly, so maybe it’s not so unusual. It makes road trips complicated.
84. I don’t like staying up late. I’m not a morning person either though. I like to be up early, but alone.
85. I sleep with a fan on at night. Without it, I can’t fall asleep. Luckily I converted my husband to fan-ism also.
86. I don’t let my husband put clothes on the bed (like if he’s undressing). I’m fanatical about it. It just seems dirty to me and I can’t get past it. But I let the sink in the bathroom go until it grows pink scunge. Go figure.
87. I am terrible remembering dates and years in my own life. I don’t know what year I graduated high school or university and have to check my CV to find out. I always have to ask my husband how old I am because I can never remember if it’s 28 or 29. Whereas he knows the exact date we met, the date we first visited, the date I moved to be with him in Halifax, etc. I only remember our wedding anniversary because it’s on the fifth and 5 is my favourite number.
89. I am chronically early and go bananas if I’m forced by someone else to be late. I am never late on my own. To me, on time is five minutes early. I was early to my wedding, but had to hold off because my mother was late. As usual.
90. I get seasonal allergies that make my sinuses feel like they’re going to explode and send shards of pointy metal all through my brain. I take a lot of antihistamines and Sinutab for this.
91. I believe in better living through pharmacology. I don’t understand those people who get headaches but refuse to take a pill for it. I also don’t understand people who only take “natural” remedies – or, put better, they don’t understand how pharmacology works.
92. I will never go to a chiropractor because I think they’re quacks.
93. My special talent is spotting people picking their noses. This happens to me all the time. I wish I had a better talent.
94. I have been brewing a zombie novel for a long time but don’t really work much on it. Which I guess makes me like every other wanna-be novelist, ie, a phony.
95. I asked my husband for suggestions for this list, and he said I should say I’m intelligent. I think if you have to tell people, you probably aren’t. But I’m pleased he said so, so I’m putting it down anyway. I would like to say I’m modest but now I probably can’t, at least not with any degree of believability.
96. I’m more accepting of people than I think I seem. In general, I like people quite a bit, even though I’m not the most social person. I’d like to change that though, and am entering a phase of making more social overtures. It doesn’t come naturally.
97. I want a dog, but my land lord won’t allow it. If I got a dog, I would get an SPCA mutt. Breeders weaken the genetic stock and put too much focus on looks rather than health. It flies in the face of evolutionary principles and the dogs suffer for our vanity. End soap box.
98. My favourite dessert is chocolate mousse, which I can no longer have. As you can tell I’m not fully adjusted to veganism yet. But my husband is – he’s just that sort of person who makes a decision and can stick with it no problem. I admire his resolve.
99. My favourite board game is RoboRally. My favourite party game is Apples to Apples. My favourite card game is crib. My favourite role playing game is Call of Cthulhu. But I’m not really competitive at all, and though I try hard to win, don’t mind losing.
100. Despite being a vegan, I watch a lot of cooking shows, even the ones with meat. Which kind of gross me out, actually, but it doesn’t stop me. My husband doesn’t understand this and neither do I.