February 26th, 2007
This morning Husband and I decided that we can’t have cookies in the house any more. Like alcoholics, we are powerless to restrain ourselves from gorging on cookies if they are here. We have to turn our lives over to a higher power, confront our helplessness in the face of our adversary, and STOP BUYING COOKIES FOR GOD’S SAKE. They are just so tempting, all brown and cookie-like. Husband tells me that cookie companies use a Poisson distribution to determine the likelihood of consumers taking a bite of a chocolate chip cookie and not getting any chocolate chip; for those who don’t know, the Poisson distribution measures things that have a very, very small incidence of occurrence in the population. In other words, they are making sure we get chips in every bite, the better to hook us all in, mwah ha ha ha!
So now all the cookies are eaten. We are no longer cookie-slave zombie bots, eating and eating. With the cookies gone, we’re down to some cucumber, a bag of carrots, one onion, and some packs of mushroom Mr Noodles. I can’t tell you how relieved we are.