June 16th, 2007
Another day of classes with the bad professor. I must give credit where credit is due: today was the best class we’ve had. There was some good discussion. The atmosphere was friendly overall. It was much more pleasant than previous classes have been. It wasn’t great, but it was tolerable. I’m torn between my empathy for the professor as a human being and my irritation at him as a teacher. The latter will win out in the assessment.
Anyway, this post is about the embarrassing thing I just did. Tonight I came home on the skytrain after dinner out with some fellow students. I had put in my earbuds and was rocking out to some tunes on my little mp3 player, really digging the music. I’ve been listening to the same song over and over for weeks now – I just love it and can’t get enough (The Rapture of Riddley Walker by Clutch, for those who are interested). Anyway, it was just at the best part when I arrived at my stop, so I had it turned up good and loud for maximum listening pleasure. I was just getting off the skytrain when I realized I had to pass gas.
You, dear reader, know that nothing good can come of this.
So, you know that phenomenon where, if you can’t see someone, they also can’t see you? (More properly stated, if you can’t see someone, they can’t see your eyes. But anyway.) Well, I think something in a related vein was going through my head in a slightly less than fully conscious manner, because somehow I decided that if I can’t hear my fart, no one else can either.
Cringe with me. I’m cringing just remembering it. Because you know what happens next. Oh yes. I let ‘er rip. A very satisfying and undoubtedly noisy fart that I didn’t hear at all. But all the other people on the platform did. And they all turned at once to stare at me, the public farter. I instantly realized what had happened. And the shame! Oh the shame!
Let this be a lesson to you. Farting is much, much worse than accidentally singing along. So be careful with your mp3 player.
TM.
Fart-tastic! ™
At such times I take one of my ear buds out in order to, um, gauge and manage the auditory emission.
Knowing you, you shrunk up into a little ball and felt horrible for yourself.
Instead, you could just laugh out loud and enjoy the knowledge that you’re human.
Actually I didn’t do much of anything – in retrospect it is pretty funny. At the time, I just kept walking and tried not to make eye contact with anyone.