January 28th, 2008
So. I live in a nice apartment building that lies cheek and jowl with the downtown east side. It’s sort of strange – my building is one of a small nest of nicer buildings, primarily owner residents, that overlook False Creek and a nice park on the west side. The view on the east side? Some homeless people and a bunch of needle covers. And also a higher than normal volume of body fluids on the sidewalk. Why is there so much phlegm on the sidewalks in the poor part of town? What is up with that?
Anyway, living here is occasionally really weird. Weirder even than the dried lizards on a stick you can buy at the local Chinese markets. Recently I discovered that McDonald’s pancakes are actually pretty good, and at two bucks, the price is awesome. So sometimes I walk to the local McDonald’s for breakfast if I’m feeling lazy and we’re out of milk. A couple days ago I did just that, leaving my building by walking through the nice foyer, nearly getting run over by a resident leaving the parking lot in their fancy SUV, and then, two blocks later, enjoying the sight of an indigent person masturbating into the bushes. While standing on the sidewalk right in front of me.
All I can say is, thank god he wasn’t actually looking at me – that would have just been too, too gross to survive.
But you did nothing, so he’ll keep doing it. You needed to channel a 1950s era woman and wail and scream and hit him with your handbag as you called him sick and shouted for help. That’d learn him.
A pretty young lady like yourself couldn’t catch the attention of a masturbating hobo?
Methinks some eyeshadow and some lipstick may be in order.
Regards,
~ I.
Hey, how do you know about my makeup? Is there a stalker in my neighbourhood in addition to the pervert?
Incognito wouldn’t dwell in a neighbourhood in such close proximity to masturbating hobos.
Besides, a person in your profession will probably soon have more than enough stalker types to contend with. I fear I’d be lost in the masses of maniacs.
A strange fear for “Incognito” I suppose.