March 27th, 2009
I am pretty sure I will be restricting myself to posts of an exclusively personal nature from now on. This is because I loathe confrontation and every time I post something to do with anything other than my personal life (ie vegetarianism, religion, science, ethics, anything) I manage to irritate someone and half the time I end up in an argument which almost certainly wouldn’t happen in real life but people are more obnoxious online, including me. And then I say, What the fuck am I doing this for? The recipe never comes out right. This is supposed to be fun and when it isn’t, and I remember no one pays me for this, I realize I have made a stupid choice.
I don’t mean to insult you but arguing online is very boring. Also I get very nervous about it and tie myself in knots trying to explain myself when really, probably no one but me cares about my explanations. I have noticed that when we disagree in comments, it seems to always end up as the two parties talking past each other without actually engaging, so to speak. So what is the point of that?
And, like I said, I don’t like to argue. This is a personal failing, one of many which I possess, and recently I talked about it with a friend over dinner and she made some very good points to do with not being so weird about it. In my real life I have rededicated myself to not being a wilting flower in the face of a differing opinion, but seriously, we all have our limits. I have discovered I am not interested in being a leader or trying to change minds or anything of that ilk if it requires dealing with pissed off people, which is the reaction I seem to regularly provoke. I don’t know how I do it but it is undeniable, I do. I know the rest of the internet takes this in stride but I am not the rest of the internet. I am sensitive and I don’t like it.
Also, I don’t have enough friends that I can run around arguing with them all the time. Disagreements here have affected my real life and that is just so incredibly not worth it I can’t even begin to tell you. Well you have friends, you can imagine.
So that’s what I have to say about that.
Vex,
I hope you reconsider your towel tossing in regards to interesting but sometimes contentious topics. I mean, I like quilt progress reports as much as the next guy, but your discussions of ethics and the like is what keeps me interested. While I can understand your desire not to alienate people, perhaps that’s a normal and natural part of growth in the context of relationships.
Twain mused that the man who doesn’t read good books has no advantage over the man that cannot read them. Perhaps the women that does not present interesting, cogent arguments has no advantage over the woman that cannot.
I don’t want to suggest you have some pressing duty to lead the charge for rational argumentation in your little corner of cyberspace, but maybe you could rethink your surrender.
Regards,
~I.