April 30th, 2009
Animal shelters are insane. They really are. I mean, I approve heartily of the mandate to rescue and protect and rehome animals. But have you seen the process they want you to go through before you can adopt an animal? The application forms are surprisingly intrusive, asking all sorts of stupid questions which will, I am quite sure, utterly fail to screen anyone who won’t be a good owner. Like security measures in airport, these provide the appearance of conscientiousness with absolutely no validity whatsoever.
Consider: Your animal adoption form asks, Are you aware of the coyote problem in this city and the risk to cats that are allowed outside? I assume the purpose of this question is to screen out people who will allow little Fluffy into the street where he may become coyote bait. But you know what? No one is going to respond “no.” People are not that stupid. For one thing once you’ve read the question you are now “aware,” so it’s not really a question at all. Looking at it generously, I would say maybe they are trying to educate, but if you’re trying to educate, just educate. If you’re making an inquiry, don’t waste your time on inquiries which encourage compliance rather than honesty. It’s like WalMart applications which ask, “Do you think it is okay to steal from work?” Even if I did, would I tell you? These sorts of questions don’t serve any function other than alerting the interested adopter to the opinions of the shelter.
Or this one: Does everyone in the home agree to adopting this animal? Again, who on earth would respond “no”? What is the point of asking this?
But at least those seem peripherally related to animal wellbeing. I think they’re stupid but I can see the intention. Then there are the questions that are clearly irrelevant: When is your next holiday planned? Fuck you, that’s when. Guess what? My holiday plans aren’t your business! If I were going to Hawaii next month, would you reject my application? What about next year? What’s the difference? Stupid question! If you’re trying to find out how often little Fluffy will be left home alone, ask that. Not that you should expect an honest answer from someone with something to hide, but at least be straightforward in what you’re seeking.
But my favourite is the home visit. Lots of places ask whether you are willing to allow a home visit. Um, no? Why on earth should I allow a complete stranger into my home? What, exactly, are they looking for? More to the point, what qualifies an animal shelter staffer to determine whether my home is good enough for an animal to reside in it? Plenty of clean, wealthy folks abuse and abandon their animals. I can only assume a home check wouldn’t have weeded them out. And I don’t think there is a happier dog than one who lives as the twenty-four hour a day constant companion of a loving homeless person. This is incredibly intrusive and I am shocked that agencies think they have any sort of right to demand it.
And this the part that really gets me. Not all shelters kill animals, but some do. And some of those kill shelters still ask for all this information and demand home visits and whatnot. On what moral authority does this rest when if the animal doesn’t get adopted you’re going to kill it? Sorry, Mr Potential Adopter, we don’t like the look of your apartment. Also Timmy, your youngest son, is not entirely sure he likes the idea of adding a cat to the household. So we’ve decided to kill this cat rather than give it to you. WTF? Even if the shelter is a no-kill shelter, is it better for an animal to live in crowded conditions, or a cage, without individual attention and affection?
Shelters make a huge fuss about seeking homes for their pets. Maybe they should stop making it so bloody unpleasant for people seeking animals.
And I say this as a vegan and someone very, very committed to animal wellfare: it’s just an animal. Okay? This is not a baby adoption. It’s a cat, or a dog, or a hamster, or whatever. Certainly it should be protected from suffering, but this is the problem: I don’t think there is any way to really accurately assess the suitability of a adopter. Why they insist on making a show of it, I don’t know. I do know it wastes a lot of time and potentially drives people away, like me: If I ever adopt an animal, I won’t do it at a place that wants to see my apartment first. That is deep, deep into “none of your fucking business” territory. I think the truth is agencies have to just tolerate the difficult, anxiety provoking feelings of having no way to tell for sure what kind of home the creature is really going to.
And I do think they should keep trying to figure out how to do a good assessment. But until you get it, drop the preachy, sanctimonious, invalid methods. That just pisses people off.
They’re just covering their own asses with respect to the animal cruelty laws. as long as they have a signed piece of paper from you saying that you intend to treat the animal well, they can prove their own due diligence should you be arrested for piercing them up and selling them on eBay.
Also, they want to at least give a couple of hoops for people to jump through, so that the animal doesn’t wind up back in their shelter in two weeks because the owner didn’t realize that a pet is actually a responsibility.
Probably. But… sigh. I guess I just find it a little depressing that doing this kind of paperwork can cover asses when it just seems so obviously inadequate.