May 31st, 2009
Husband has gone to play poker, leaving me home to deal with hunger on my own. I turn to you, faithful internet, to keep me busy long enough for the urge to pass. Various things:
1. I sang out loud in public again the other day. Humiliation: the price I pay for portable music and headphones. There’s nothing quite like realizing you have been accidentally serenading an entire street full of people, of whom perhaps none like Jeff Healy quite so much as I do.
2. Street vendor veggie dogs are pretty good, despite what I have said in the past about veg dogs and bandaids, ie, that the former tastes like the latter. I mean, don’t get me wrong, they totally do. But the street vendors have about fifty sauces you can apply (my mix is mustard, ketchup, relish, onions and that hot cock sauce, is it called sriracha?) that serve to adequately disguise the iffy part and make it simply wonderful.
Good fuck why am I writing about food! Stop it!
3. I handed in my exam materials today. In a rather Kafka-esque turn of events, the only staff person in the school is not trusted with a key to the locked room, so he cannot take my exam materials which are sensitive and must be locked up. Why would they have someone working the desk who cannot perform the duties of the desk? Why would they tell us students that our papers must be turned in before Monday morning and that late submission results in a fail, as does improperly securing our documents, which we are responsible for at all times, and then not have resources for said turning in? GOOD QUESTIONS.
Luckily someone in charge was reached on the phone and this person came up with a plan that was rather complex and involved banking on a certain staff person arriving at a certain time tomorrow with a certain set of keys and about eight ways things could go wrong resulting in my documents falling into the wrong hands BUT THANK GOD THE GUY AT THE DESK CAN’T GET INTO THE LOCKED ROOM. My school is all about confidentiality, yo.
4. Last night I went to Abbotsford to stargaze with a local astronomy club (I always have to mentally check whether to say astronomy or astrology; I get those words mixed up all the time). Conditions were not great but I saw the moon and Saturn and two of its moons! I also saw Jesse’s toe shoes which collect flowers between the toes when he walks in tall grass. True story! Next time he’s in nature I’m bringing a camera to prove it to you.
Edited to add pictures. Note that when I saw them, these shoes were chock a block with buttercups, I mean between every toe. Jesse is trying to be modest with this single flower shot but I assure you, his shoes were sprouting bouquets.
Also, two dudes in a sedan were checking me out at a stop light on the way to stars. They were all winking and waving and making “hey baby” eyes – I confess to being very flattered, as this has never happened before, and also amused, because they were probably 17.
5. Do you think some popcorn counts as eating? Just a little. And not too much margarine.
6. What do you do to lose weight? I am pretty old fashioned and I try to get more exercise and cut down on the eating, especially eating junk food. I stop snacking between meals. And that’s about it. It works but it’s not much fun. If I am hungry at bedtime I feel I have accomplished a good day’s dieting.
Hey, another point: it is so unfashionable to say you are on a diet. You’re supposed to be performing a feat of nutritional piety by abstaining from one food group or another, or focusing on your wellness or “trying to be healthier, not lose weight” or some happy horseshit like that, but really, here is how I see it: I want to weigh less, which requires privation, and that can’t be pleasant. I am engaging in deliberate starvation and that’s a fucking diet. It’s not a lifestyle wellness holistic something or other. Can we dispense with playing pretend? Starving. That’s it.
7. I had three drinks after lunch and it was great! And no ill effects! I think I just needed some training. Persistence is the key.