Blogosaurus Vex

July 23rd, 2009

Yesterday I went to a psychic fair.  Of course it’s all garbage but my friend was going and it seemed like it would be an entertaining way to spend the afternoon – we planned on what Husband calls the “dumb Columbo” method of inquiry: Really?  And how does that work?  Really?  And how do you know that?  etc.  My friend noted we could also call it the Socrates method but I don’t like to be an elitist.

First off, I will say it was very sparsely attended which I found pleasing.  Of course in their literature they’d predicted a crowd of over 5,000 – and again, as my friend said, if anyone should have been able to predict the numbers attending…!  Mostly the exhibitors were just walking around and doing each other’s stuff because there were so few attendees.

So there was a crystal merchant, a toe reader, psychic healers, past life readers, tarot readers, one chiropractor who left before we had a chance to talk to him, three thumpers of spiritual books other than the bible, and one masseusse (not a registered RMT), plus a few other tables I didn’t see.

It’s hard to summarize the woo, but we heard it all: The Secret, What the Bleep do We Know, energy (spiritual energy of a kind that can neither be defined nor measured), you need to believe, quantum mechanics, past lives, science doesn’t know everything, science always changes its mind, everything you need to know is already inside you, personal testimony as evidence, energy causes all illness and can cure all illnesses (“Even cancer?  And AIDS?” “Yes, even cancer and AIDS.” “No! Really?” “Yes. Some people have been cured with energy.”) …on and on.

Some of the exhibitors were more brazen in their claims, like the cancer cured by crystals people, and others were cagier.  I went for a psychic healing and tried my best to get the lady to make a specific claim, but she wouldn’t.  Which is good!  I was impressed at her ability to walk the line between not making any promises or claims, yet indicating I really needed and could get benefit from a healing.  I mean, why call it a healing if it doesn’t make you better?  Of course she didn’t need to know what’s wrong with me because the energy can just “find” the problem – it’s sent by a higher power!  Nice.  The healing itself was a pleasant experience of being gently pressed and brushed here and there by the lady, which was relaxing, but if there’s a healing mechanism in there I’ll eat my hat.

I also had a past life reading, and guess what!  I was a Scottish princess in 1787 with beautiful dark hair and a beautiful dress with embellishments about the bosom.  We enter the story with me reclining on a sofa in sadness and tears because I am being forced to marry a lord I dislike.  That night I flee the castle and run to the stable to fetch my pure white horse upon which to run away.  But while getting my horse, I awaken the stable boy, to whom I pour out my miseries and we fall in love.  I return to the castle and tell my parents I won’t marry the lord, which they accept, and then I marry the stable boy!  Hooray!

I was hoping I’d get some kind of cold reading action at least so the reader could tailor my past life in a way I’d like it, but no.  She just closed her eyes and told me a bodice-ripper story that was pretty boring.  Which is too bad, because she’s in the entertainment industry and if she can’t keep me entertained, she can’t get any return business.  Oh and there is the little problem of how it’s all just made up but sold as real, that’s bad too.  Anyway, I am sad I wasn’t a cool intellectual or something, even a farmer or serf would have been more interesting than some stupid princess who accidentally falls in love with Fabio.  I wish I knew more about the late 18thC because then I could have tested her by asking something characteristic about, say, the sort of dress I would have been wearing, and catch her up that way.  Other candidate details might have been horse equipment, layout of the castle, local plants, stuff like that – But I couldn’t think of anything at the time.  Drat!

JBrydle, any good details about the trip to add?

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