I awoke to the stench of rotten.

In the hurly-burly of getting li’l blogo off to the airport early on Monday, then working a late shift Monday night (thus going straight to bed upon getting home), some innocently forgotten food items were left on the kitchen counter Sunday night.  They were left there with good intentions of a kitchen clean-up, good intentions that got lost paving the road to Hell.  This-morning (Tuesday), the food returned from Hell, sadder, and certainly not wiser.  More like, vengeful.

I should add that they had previously overstayed their welcome in the fridge by about a week. . .

Offender #1 was a quinoa and cashew sauce dish with cubed tofu.  Healthy healthy healthy!  Offender #2 was a garden variety salad.

The smell was astonishingly remniscient of an experience from summer camp at age 15.  At the end of the summer, I was helping clean up a kitchen.  Of course, this included taking out all the old garbage bags.  One of them unfortunately contained 30 pounds of forgotten, raw, t-bone steaks, dripping in their bloody juices, awash in maggots.  But that’s not what I noticed first.  I had innocently been attempting to tie off the top of the bag when a very unfortunate out-gassing occurred.  The stench-wave induced immediate nausea, and I had to run outside to avoid immediately vomiting.

The best part happened next.

Did I mention that this was a summer cadet camp?  For those who don’t know, the cadets are a paramilitary organization for teenagers, and yes, it’s very much a natural experiment in Lord of The Flies, except with shiny boots and starched collars.  So, I was naturally Ordered by my 17 year old Platoon Sergeant, drunk on his petty power, to go back in there and Get That Garbage!  I did, but not before getting rotten blood on my arms, starchy shirt, and shiny boots.

Summer camp is wholesome, and it gives memories for a lifetime, memories which roused me from my slumbers this morning.  In our time of living, we are vibrant, colourful, and varied.  In our decay, we are one.  Blogo has been gone for 23.5 hours, and I have already reverted to complete savagery.  At least there’s no rotten blood.  And no petty teen dictators.

Internet, have you forgotten all about me?  It’s true I neglect you.  It’s also true that scant-posting apologies from bloggers are exceedingly tiresome… nonetheless I feel compelled to offer some explanations.

1. I am sick.  I had a flu-ey thing recently that was of short duration and perhaps never went fully away because I am ill today and was yesterday and expect to be so again tomorrow.  Even Husband is sick, and in the four years of our acquaintance I have seen him sick exactly twice.  This is the second time.  We have the same thing.  I feel strangely justified in being sick if he is too - I mean, if the bug could get by his immune system, what hope did I have?

2. I am about to go away for a week to Halifax for a training thing, and I am trying to focus on not getting sicker, because I dread the thought of flying while sick (mainly because of the discomfort - I don’t care much about infecting others.  I’m an asshole.  There, I said it.).

3. The sick thing is making it harder to do everything, including clean my house, which is currently at that state where there is not a single clean room and I want to cry just looking around it.  I can’t relax in a messy house.  It totally freaks me out.  But I’m too tired and weak to clean up.  Honestly, I could cry.  And we’re supposed to host dinner for a friend from Ontario who is coming out on Sunday, which when I think of it causes me to die a little on the inside.  We can’t go out for dinner because one of the guests is under a year old and it seems these infant creatures do not adhere closely to rules of decorum at restaurants.  Which is just further proof that babies are assholes, in case you needed any, which you probably don’t if you’ve ever met one.

4. My practicum has started, and though it’s only three days a week, the amount of mental energy it consumes is simply shocking.  Part of this is probably the rather large amount of anxiety I’ve been having in anticipation of My First Clients.  Thank god that’s over because I didn’t enjoy the stress of having First Clients at all.  Of course now that I’ve ripped that band aid off I get to commence dealing with the stress of Learning To Ply My Trade, which is obviously going to be a much longer process than enduring The First Clients.

5. I am reading a motherfucker of a book, The Quincunx, which I am only finishing because I refuse to let it beat me.  At page 699 the protagonist got his first lucky break, at which point I couldn’t stop myself from shouting: “Thank Christ!” because before then it was one long relentless series of catastrophes and disappointments, truly an epic reading experience, and all the worse because it’s actually a very good book.  The reading process is definitely masochistic in nature, as I force myself to read with dread in my heart because I know it’s going to be a clusterfuck, and then have to force myself to stop because dammit I want to figure out this stupid mystery!  This may be the most evil book I have ever encountered.

6. We’ve started rewatching the TV series Deadwood and I am consequently walking around perpetually stunned due to the sheer number of times the characters say “cocksucker” and “c–t” which obviously is a lot.  We love this show and titter with glee all the way through each episode but I feel I should wash my mouth out with soap afterwards.  It’s hard to blog when you’re engrossed in a gritty western.

And finally, I just want to say I am craving a pizza like nobody’s business.

I’m in a phase of fussing over nutrition and what we eat.  I have decided that we don’t eat enough leafy greens.  It would actually be closer to the truth to say that we almost never eat leafy greens - this needs to change!  Those leafy greens are so full of good nutrients that there’s really no excuse to avoid them.  I even like them but tend to be lazy about washing and using the greens I buy.

I got started this morning by eating some lettuce wedges.  I had some iceberg lettuce in the fridge from the tacos we had earlier in the week (I know it’s mostly crunchy water but nothing is better on a taco!), and I discovered today that you can just chop it into big wedges, and hold the wedge like a wedge, and dip it into some salad dressing and eat by hand!  It’s not the best of the greens but it’s a start!  I bet this would be good in salsa too.  Or tzatziki if you’re a yogurt eater.

Next project: adding pureed kale to tomato sauces.  And adding a side salad to all my meals other than breakfast. Just some leafies on the side with a bit of dressing and maybe some chopped veggies. I like some fresh lemon and a bit of balsamic vinegar as a simple, fresh dressing over, say, baby spinach leaves.

Also: I just discovered liquid smoke.  It comes in a jar.  Mine is hickory flavoured.  You add it to stews or whatever to give it a smoky flavour (obviously) - and it’s actually pretty good!

I also just discovered Vegeta, which is a salt and dried veggie spice that is like Mrs Dash except Mrs Dash tastes gross and Vegeta is good (note - it contains MSG, in case you’re one of those people who gets freaky about MSG - you should know it’s in there).  I would throw Vegeta into a soup if it needed some more punch, or onto steamed veggies, or mixed in with baked potato flesh all mashed up in the skins, or in place of salt in home made fries, or maybe even on a salad?  I’m in love with Vegeta and am using it like a mad person.

I also went grocery shopping today, and will be making the following dishes over the next few days, all from Dreena Burton’s great cook book Eat, Drink & Be Vegan:

Chipotle and lime two-bean hummus (served with toasted whole wheat pitas and crunchy veggies for dipping)

Chickpea and wild rice soup (served with whole wheat buns, toasted and rubbed with raw garlic)

Cashew-ginger tofu, served with Teriyaki quinoa

And from Nava Atlas’ The Vegetarian Family Cookbook:

Navy bean soup with corn and red peppers

In all cases, I’ll be making simple salads of leafy greens to accompany.  Nummers!

Did I tell you I got a parking pass at Mountaintop University, where I am doing my practicum?  I did!  Rank hath its privileges - as staff, I get the much coveted sticker and my life is much improved as a result.  If you are local and attended MTU, you know what I’m talking about.  To give other folks an idea, they hold a lottery there every semester which students can enter hoping to win the privelege of buying a parking pass.  There are also a select number of spots open outside the lottery, and students regularly camp out outside the parking office in the days leading up to the sale day so they can be close enough to the front of the line that they’ll be able to buy a pass.  It’s really that bad.

Okay.  You don’t care about where I park.  I’m just pretty excited about this because in my years as a student at MTU, I never got a pass.  I’m a rebel so I used to park anyway, angling to place my little Ford Escort between two larger vehicles in the farthest reaches of the least desirable parking lot to escape detection by security.  I even went so far as to source out a sticker to put on my window that, from a distance, looked sort of like the MTU parking pass.  I don’t know if my Miskatonic University gag sticker was a factor or not (it was the right colour but it did have the octopoid beast Cthulhu as the chief image) but I did manage to park for months with only one ticket.  But there was always the stress - will today be the day I get towed or boot locked and I can’t leave campus because I don’t have the money to get the car out of hock?  No stress for me now - I may only be permitted to park in distant, sneered at G lot but I’m doing so with the consent of The Man and no one’s gonna tow me!

Yeah.  Moving on.

I got a new shipment of books today!  In it is a new novel, The Quincunx by Charles Palliser.  I haven’t started it yet but it is simply covered in shockingly good reviews from every major source you can think of.  I’m hoping this means it’ll be good and not that it’s just a mass market disaster like that stupid Da Vinci Code, which was a steaming pile of poo if you ask me (and you implicitly did, by coming to my website!).  I also got the Martha Stewart book on housekeeping, because let’s face it, I’m a girl.  And more Erich Fromm, because I’m a nerd too!  I also got a bill (and am now cut off from ordering books online until I dig myself out of my book debt) but let’s not talk about that.  Everyone has a vice - Let he who is without sin cast the first stone!

What are you reading these days?

This morning I made some pancakes from one of my recipe books and they were just horrid.  Rubbery and thick and bland.  I only ate them to get at the syrup!  Husband liked them but he likes everything, so that doesn’t count.  So, there will be no recipe pictures today.  At least not of pancakes.  I’ll be making a kalamata olive and caper pasta later on which might make for some good photos… we’ll see how it goes.

Other than that, I’ve been busy with work and sickness.  Yesterday I spent most of the day barfing and groaning on the couch, too sick to read but happily not too sick to watch Inspector Morse.  I had a fevery day a couple days ago and apparently that was just the appetizer for yesterday’s full meal deal.  What a day!  Yeesh!

Today my plan is to recuperate further, and perhaps take a little drive with Husband in honour of the crisp, sunny weather.

Good lord.  I was going to write you a nice post today about my upcoming practicum but HELL FROZE OVER and I had THREE phone calls today.  I was on the phone for over TWO HOURS.  Holy catfish, I haven’t even got time to pick my nose!

And, my little brother moves away to university tomorrow so I’ll be away for two days helping him move.  Busy times, busy times.  So instead of a fabulous post, I will leave you with this picture of my lunch, vegan pho, which I am about to devour:

Present but hard to detect: hot chili sauce, hoisin sauce, and slices of green onion to accompany the more visible lime and sprouts and basil.

Notice the piece of paper over my laptop keyboard, which will protect it from slurpy splashes.

It got cold today, so I turned on the fireplace.  Which made things nice and cosy… until I noticed there was a very cold draft moving through my living room.  I am quite clever, and was able to trace the draft to two sources: the open kitchen window, and the open sliding glass door in the bedroom.

Apparently, I am not clever enough to avoid heating the entire out doors.

I love having plants in the house.  Recently I killed a cactus by overwatering (but seriously, it looked to dessicated and dry, surely it needed more water!), so today I went out to replace it.  And came home with three new plants.  One is a succulent, which is basically a type of cactus I figure, because it’s supposed to be let to dry and dies with overwatering.  It’s the little fingery plant on the windowsill.  The jade plant, on the table, has been around for a while.  The other two plants, on the box and floor, are the other two new ones and much more my type of plant: green and leafy, easy to care for, hard to either over or underwater.  In any case they form a very nice leafy composition by my fireplace and I am very pleased by them.

When I was young, I would occasionally find myself home alone for the weekend with my mom.  My dad was an avid golfer and skiier who took many weekend trips to indulge in these hobbies; sometimes I would elect to stay home rather than join him, and it was these times when he was away that I had my best experiences of domesticity.

My mother would first clean the house - Dad being something of a tornado of debris, she generally allowed things to be messy when he was home, a decision based I believe on an acknowledgment of reality.  But with him gone, everything could be put to order and expected to stay that way.  With the house clean, she moved on to puttering: baking, sewing, and painting being her chief occupations when the house was to herself. I was mainly an observer here; my mother and I were not friends while I was growing up, and though we didn’t argue, we simply had very little to do with one another.  Yet I loved these times when it was just the two of us at home.  We didn’t talk much, and I didn’t share in performing her hobbies with her, but somehow there was a feeling of relaxation and contentment and coziness that could only occur under these particular circumstances.  I loved it.

Now I see much of her in me.  When Husband leaves home for a few days, I too make a thorough cleaning my first order of business.  Then I sew or cook or read - putter, in other words.  And I get that feeling of contentment, though when I am home alone I sometimes wish to have someone to share it with.

This weekend, Husband had four days off work.  We stuck close to home, other than two day trip drives.  I did my cleaning and ordering and cooking and reading and sewing - and it was perfect.  We achieved just the right balance of independence and interdependence, socializing and staying in, relaxing and doing things.  We had some serious talks but also laughed a great deal.  And I have realized that this is the best feeling I know: contentment, in my home, with my beloved husband, as we carry out daily occupations at a leisurely pace.

And that is what motivates me to be a home maker, insofar as I perform those tasks.  It’s not that I like cleaning the bathroom, or even necessarily that I love the cleanness of the result (though that is very good) - it’s an emotional experience of peace and warmth that requires order and recreational industry to manifest.

Yesterday was one of those complicated, sad, difficult days that I can’t talk about here.  The only thing good that came of it was the feeling of connection to Husband, who as it turns out can crack me up even when I’m in distress and getting sick *and* hungry all at the same time.  I can’t say enough about how much my quality of life and happiness are increased by his presence.

Side note: we tried to go out for dinner last night, and had our first total veg flop.  We went to Nick’s Spaghetti House, which I fond memories of, but it turns out there is not a single vegeterian option on the menu!  All the pastas are meat sauced.  It was very hard to leave the delicious smelling restaurant in search of something else.  Of course the dinner we ended up having was a disappointment.

Today I might post a recipe since I’m going to be making one of my favourite soups of all time (fennel and white bean), but first I have to whip myself into a cooking frenzy because I am actually sick and my energy is poo poo.  If I end up reading on the couch all day, I guess I could post pictures of that instead.