“Verbicide, the murder of a word, happens in many ways. Inflation is one of the commonest: those who taught us to say awfully for ‘very’, tremendous for ‘great’, sadism for ‘cruelty’, and unthinkable for ‘undesirable’ were verbicides. Another way is verbiage, by which I here mean the use of a word as a promise to pay which is never going to be kept. The use of significant as if it were an absolute, and with no intention of ever telling us what the thing is significant of, is an example.  So is diametrically when it is used merely to put opposite into the superlative. …The greatest cause for verbicide is the fact that most people are obviously far more anxious to express their approval and disapproval of things than to describe them.  Hence the tendency of words to become less descriptive and more evaluative; then to become evaluative, while still retaining some hint of the sort of goodness or badness implied; and to end up by being purely evaluative - useless synonyms for good or bad.”

Today’s lecture in semantics, inspured by Lewis, concerns the word patently.  Patently means obviously, so obviously you should never say that something is “patently obvious”.  Obviously obvious?  Spare us!

Patently absurd is still acceptable.

So remember how I said I was getting a camcorder?  I got it.  It’s a digital type that records onto a hard drive inside the camera (Puck, aren’t you proud of how tech-modern that is?) instead of onto some lame-o tape or even a DVD.  The wicked thing about this camera is that, because it is digital, I can transfer the videos I make onto my computer in about two seconds and totally humiliate myself online with the product.

I bet you’re looking for a video to click on at this point - but alas, you will be disappointed, because at the last second intelligence won out and I decided not to post the video.  (And I’m not tech-modern enough to know how to embed it anyway.)

My camera rocks.  It’s small and red and deeply impressive.  Joy!

In honour of it being Christmas Eve, we here at Blogosaurus Vex have decided to dedicate today’s entry to a scriptural reading. I was aided in the preparation of this post by Husband, who was once a pretty hard core born again Christian. (Now he’s a grumpy athiest like me, but still has a head full of theological trivia.) Without further ado, let us review what the Bible has to say about people who decorate Christmas trees:

Jeremiah 10:2-5, 8

Thus saith the Lord, Learn not the ways of the heathen, and be not dismayed at the signs of heaven; for the heathen are dismayed at them. For the customs of the people are vain: for one cutteth a tree out of the forest, the work of the hands of the workman, with the axe. They deck it with silver and with gold; fasten it with nails and with hammers, that it move not. They are upright as the palm tree, but speak not: they must needs be borne, because they cannot go. Be not afraid of them; for they cannot do evil, neither also is it in them to do good. …But they are altogether brutish and foolish: the stock is a doctrine of vanities.

Merry Christmas everyone!

This is a great article that says many things I wholeheartedly endorse but could never explain as elegantly.  In short, it’s a delightful little piece about what the difference between actual doctors and chiropractors is, with a little dig at traditional “medicine” thrown in for fun.  I couldn’t possibly argue the point better than the writer, but I will leave you with this one little tidbit: It’s no accident that there is not a single university in North America with a faculty of science that also has a department of chiropractic.

(Husband edits: one college in Ontario has a department of chiropractic, but it was brought on board against the unanimous protest of the entire faculty of science, as a finance generator.)

I’m spearheading the initiative to bring “whom” back into popular parlance.  From now on, I will strive to use whom whenever appropriate.  Remember: who is the subject, whom is the object.

Who’s with me?

Dialogue is a NOUN, not a VERB.

“Let’s have a dialogue about that.” -Good.

“We can dialogue about that.” -Grounds for shooting.

This lesson brought to you by equality and respect: stop calling women “girls.”

A girl is a young female: an infant, a child, possibly a young adolescent (though I personally use “young woman” for teens).  An older teen or adult female is a woman; and while calling her a girl doesn’t change the fact that she is a woman, it does mean she’s now a woman being infantilized and disrespected.  It may not seem obvious to everyone that this is so, but it is.  Recall that even men have had to overcome this prejudice: black slaves in America were traditionally called “boy.”

It costs nothing but a feeling of superiority to make the change.  So quit it.

While in Saskatchewan, Husband and I saw this sign in the hotel restaurant:

STEAK AND EGG’S $9.95

It hurts me to even type that.  Unless, say, the $9.95 belonged to the steak and eggs.  Are steak and eggs considered persons under the law?

I need to start carrying a big Sharpie around with me for times like this.  That would really endear me to my fellow man!

Especially: is not pronounced EX-specially.

Ask: is not pronounced AXE.

Et cetera: is not pronounced ECK-cetera.

Library: is not pronounced lie-berry.

And try to remember that literally doesn’t mean figuratively.  Examples:

1)

Incorrect: “It was literally raining cats and dogs!”

Correct: “It was literally raining water!”

2)

Incorrect: “I literally died!”

Correct: “I nearly died!”

Finally: Irregardless is a double negative.  Don’t say it.  Say either “regardless” or “irrespective,” as appropriate.

A dilemma is a problem that requires a choice between two equally undesirable choices. The clue to the “bi” nature of the dilemma is the “di” prefix, which means two. For example, you’re on an airplane, very hungry, and the stewardess offers you your choice of meal: mystery meat meatloaf made of Spam, and manky fish of unspecied species and indeterminate age. The food tray smells in general like ass. But you’re hungry so you have to chose one of two options. This is a dilemma.

But what about this: “Gee, I just can’t figure out what to have for dinner. What a dilemma.” Sorry, not a dilemma! This is just a problem, because there are more than two choices (various foods at home are available, by implication). It could become a dilemma if the situation were revised slightly: “The only things to eat in the house are old slices of Wunderbread and a single saggy cantaloupe. Which should we have for dinner?” Two choices, and you must pick one… it’s a dilemma!

If you have three choices, that’s also not a dilemma.  A dilemma has two - and only two - choices.

If your problem is really hard, that still doesn’t make it a dilemma. If your problem is super, deeply, truly, hugely difficult and hard and brutal… it’s still just a problem (albiet a big one) because a dilemma is only if you are forced to choose between two poor options. This is why being on the horns of the dilemma makes sense: there are two horns, and you are going to end up on one of them.

As usual, those commonly mistaken people are acknowledged: “a difficult problem” is included in the dictionary under dilemma as a disputed reference. But you don’t want to be part of the commonly mistaken, do you?

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As an aside, my reference for the educational PSBs is my home edition of the Oxford English Reference Dictionary, which is one of the many offshoots of that most glorious dictionary, the Oxford English Dictionary. One day Husband and I hope to own an OED and at that time will require a second apartment in which to house it.